{"id":132,"date":"2014-12-10T14:14:51","date_gmt":"2014-12-10T17:14:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/?p=132"},"modified":"2014-12-10T14:14:51","modified_gmt":"2014-12-10T17:14:51","slug":"conjoined-hearts-separation-operation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/conjoined-hearts-separation-operation\/","title":{"rendered":"CONJOINED HEARTS SEPARATION OPERATION"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!--  adsense para textos de teatro (topo inside) 728 x 90 --><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><script src=\"\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\" async=\"\"><\/script><!-- rodap\u00e9 --> <ins class=\"adsbygoogle\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 728px; height: 90px;\" data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-7922989058824856\" data-ad-slot=\"4336622816\"><\/ins><script>\/\/ <![CDATA[\n(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\n\/\/ ]]><\/script><!--more--><\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/h1>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.safecreative.org\/work\/0902172579295\" rel=\"cc:license\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/resources.safecreative.org\/work\/0902172579295\/label\/barcode-150\" alt=\"Safe Creative #0902172579295\" \/><\/a><\/h1>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><b>CONJOINED HEARTS SEPARATION OPERATION<\/b><\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Tragicomic Sketch (5 to 10 minutes long)<br \/>\nFor an actor and an actress<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n\u00a9 Victor Martins Sant&#8217;Anna 2009<br \/>\nTraduzido para o ingl\u00eas por<br \/>\nwww.wobi.com.br &#8211; andre.dantas@wobi.com.br<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Synopsis: A couple on the divorce track in their final argument<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">There is an open cardboard box in the middle of the stage. A man throws objects in the box, examining one by one before doing so.<\/p>\n<p>The man picks up a stuffed dog and plays around with it. He throws an object (a ball or a toy bone) far and talks to the dog.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nGo fetch it, Lulu!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">He pretends that the dog is alive and runs around with it (the stuffed dog may have a dog collar and wheels, for example)<\/p>\n<p>The intercom rings. The man leaves the dog somewhere, stands up and answers the intercom.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\n(On the intercom)<br \/>\n&#8211; Yes?<br \/>\n(He presses the intercom button. He opens the door and waits a little).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">A woman comes in.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nWhy didn&#8217;t you use the key?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nOh, take the key, I don&#8217;t need it anymore.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The man take the key and puts it away.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nAre you alone?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt has only been three months since our separation,<br \/>\nthere wasn&#8217;t enough time to find someone yet.<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nI mean someone to help you carry your stuff now.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nOh! Right!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nI put your things in this box here.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\n(Looks inside the box)<br \/>\nWhere are my teddy bears?<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nI&#8217;ll go get them.<br \/>\n(The man comes back with some stuffed animals.)<br \/>\nThere, anything else?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\n(She looks at the dishes and glasses in the corner.)<br \/>\nAre you having a party?<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt&#8217;s just a dinner&#8230; a dinner with some friends.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nWhat about this box with my stuff in the middle of the room?<br \/>\nIf I hadn&#8217;t shown up today, was it just going to stay there?<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nI was going to use it as a table.<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s been sitting there for three months waiting for you.<br \/>\nWhen it is closed and I cover it with a towel it doesn&#8217;t even look like a box.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nWhy don&#8217;t you use a real table?<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nYou took it, along with the rest of the furniture, remember?<br \/>\nAnd you took all the money, too.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nI only took a few objects which were mine.<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nEverything here was ours&#8230; Ours! Mine and yours!<br \/>\nWe were a couple for 10 years, for chrissake.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nThis place was never mine, you never let me do anything I wanted to&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nNever? What about this horrible black butterfly you hung on the wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt is not a butterfly, it is a hand fan!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nThen you can take your fan.<br \/>\n(He takes it and throws it in the box)<br \/>\nIt flies like a butterfly.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nI said I wanted this place to be &#8216;ours&#8217; dozens of times,<br \/>\nbut it&#8217;s always been only yours.<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nYou could do whatever you wanted, I never cared!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt is not about what I wanted to do here.<br \/>\nWe were supposed to do it together.<br \/>\nYou&#8217;re exactly the same, you haven&#8217;t changed a bit!<br \/>\nYou never listen!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nI always listen. You never make any sense!<br \/>\nYou complain it wasn&#8217;t yours, but you didn&#8217;t want to do anything.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nThis is useless. You&#8217;re still the same.<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nCan&#8217;t we try and make this work?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nThere&#8217;s no way&#8230; I thought we might at least talk things through.<br \/>\nI thought you&#8217;d change, but this is who you&#8217;re and always will be.<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nI&#8217;ve always been this way!<br \/>\nI&#8217;ve been like this for ten years and you always liked the way I was.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nBut I&#8217;ve changed, I&#8217;ve evolved!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nEvolved? Oh! Right! Changing your mind is evolving &#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nI change, people change, only you never changed a thing!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt&#8217;s not my fault I don&#8217;t need to change!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nYou deceived me&#8230; when we got married I used to think you were different.<br \/>\nAs time went by, I realised you were different from what I&#8217;d thought!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nAnd is it my fault you didn&#8217;t see me for who I was?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\n(Ironic)<br \/>\nNo, it&#8217;s my fault! It&#8217;s always my fault<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nStop throwing these ready-made sentences in our argument.<br \/>\nThat&#8217;s not what I meant!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt&#8217;s never what you mean&#8230; Never!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nWhy are you doing this? You&#8217;re just trying to start another row&#8230;<br \/>\nOur marriage&#8217;s always been good!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt wasn&#8217;t always good, it was good in the early years &#8230;<br \/>\nIt was different in the beginning!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nBut what changed? We were always so happy!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nI&#8217;m not happy! I can&#8217;t stand you anymore!<br \/>\nI want to meet other people! I want to live!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nBut &#8230; You didn&#8217;t even want sex with me!<br \/>\nWhat&#8217;s the point in meeting others?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nI want a real man! Who loves me all night long!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nYou would reject me every night!<br \/>\nWhen we had sex you were never up for anything I suggested.<br \/>\nAnd then you still complained it was bad!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nI used to ask you to take me somewhere romantic to make love,<br \/>\nyou never listened to me!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nIs having sex on the table romantic?<br \/>\nIt would break the table and we would end up in the ER!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nYou don&#8217;t understand women!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nMe? And does anybody?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nYes! There are men who understand women!<br \/>\nTake that romantic singer for example&#8230; Vando*!<br \/>\nNow that&#8217;s a man!<br \/>\nHe understands women, he knows how we want to be treated.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">* a brazilian romantic singer famous for his romantic affairs with women<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\n(looks at his feet)<br \/>\nTreated?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nI can only imagine that hunk grabbing all over me,<br \/>\n(caressing her own body)<br \/>\nfondling me&#8230; caressing all my body&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nIs he a man&#8230; Or a soap?<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nYou know nothing about him &#8230;<br \/>\nThe way he talks, what he says &#8230;<br \/>\nHe really understands women!<br \/>\nYou should listen to what he says!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nYeah right&#8230; I&#8217;ll ask women to throw panties at me&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nYou&#8217;re such a wuss! Vando says that when a man really loves a woman,<br \/>\nhe can make love to her five times a night&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nGood for him! But&#8230;<br \/>\nJust think for a second, if he fell in love with you,<br \/>\nwho wanted sex once a year,<br \/>\nhis rate would be far worse than mine &#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nWhat are you trying to say?<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nThat it&#8217;s hard to make love five times a night to someone<br \/>\nwho is already sleeping when you go to bed and who<br \/>\nwakes up early and takes off so they won&#8217;t have to have sex.<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nIf you weren&#8217;t so slow and so bad in bed I&#8217;d stay awake and<br \/>\nwe wouldn&#8217;t have to end our marriage due to lack of interest!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt took you ten years to discover that I&#8217;m bad in bed?<br \/>\nAnd I&#8217;m the slow one&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nEnough! Let&#8217;s leave it like this.<br \/>\nThere&#8217;s no point talking to you!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nI should be the one to say that!<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nEnough! I&#8217;m done talking about this!<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t want to argue anymore.<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t wanna look at your face anymore.<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nIt sounds great&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The man opens the door. Then he drags (or takes on his hands) the filled box to the door. He returns, picks the stuffed dog off the floor and goes back to the door.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nDon&#8217;t forget your stupid dog! Here!<br \/>\n(He takes the dog and throws it in the box)<\/p>\n<p><b>WOMAN<\/b><br \/>\nMy Lulu!<br \/>\n(She grabs the dog and cuddles with it)<br \/>\nYou&#8217;re so insensitive! This could be our son!<\/p>\n<p><b>MAN<\/b><br \/>\nOnly if you&#8217;ve been having sex with a stuffed dog.<br \/>\n(He slams the door in her face)<br \/>\nFarewell, my love!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0\u00a9 Victor Martins Sant&#8217;Anna 2009<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.safecreative.org\/work\/0902172579295\" rel=\"cc:license\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/resources.safecreative.org\/work\/0902172579295\/label\/barcode-150\" alt=\"Safe Creative #0902172579295\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,2],"tags":[25,26,63,7,4,6,51,54],"class_list":{"0":"post-132","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-drama","7":"category-multiple-character-short-plays","8":"tag-1f","9":"tag-1m","10":"tag-drama","11":"tag-play","12":"tag-short","13":"tag-sketch","14":"tag-theater","15":"tag-theatre","16":"czr-hentry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p58u06-28","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=132"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":133,"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions\/133"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.textosteatro.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}